Time versus Energy

A long time ago, I accepted that I have two versions of myself. Term time Penny, and School Holiday Penny. Each one has a different baseline of what I can achieve.

It feels apt, given that it’s half term for me, that this week’s podcast with author Amy Arthur is all about pacing. Though the tool of pacing was developed to manage chronic illnesses that effect energy and pain levels such as ME/CFS or MS, pacing is a tool that can be used by anyone who feels like they never have enough energy and want to avoid the burnout cycle. It is an amazing tool for writers, especially those juggling a lot.

When I was reading Amy’s book Pace Yourself: How to have energy in an exhausting world, I realised I had been using pacing tools for many years. This brings me back to Term time Penny and Holiday Penny. As Amy puts it - they each have a different Vital Pace, that I have worked out over the years in order not to burn out.

Though it may differ for many people, my unpaid work is far more demanding (and dangerous) than my paid work. In fact, calling it Holiday Penny might be a bit of a misnomer since most people associate holidays with taking a break - but for me it means I work harder. My baseline has to drop waaaaay down. Why?

Amy beautifully describes it in her book. Energy comes in different forms - physical, mental and emotional. Supporting someone else who needs to constantly co-regulate their emotions with you, as well staying hyper vigilant so they don’t harm themselves or others, and planning for every possible thing that could go wrong, takes far more energy than writing. A lot more. And the amount of time I spend doing those things, ramps up significantly during the school holidays.

Of course there are ways I can manage my time differently, that we hear about all the time. For instance, I could get up early to write or edit clients work before he wakes, which I do sometimes.

But it’s not about how much time I have. It’s about the energy I have.

This is where I find the conversation around time always falls short. Without proper acknowledgement that the activities we do take different levels of energy and different types of energy for all of us, then conversations around time remain theoretical and for the most privileged. Those with disabilities or caring responsibilities and those who are part of minority groups (who might use energy to simply exist in certain spaces), might need a lot more energy than those who are not.

So a long time ago, I decided on two different vital pace’s for myself. Term time Penny can exercise (when she isn’t recovering from a broken ankle) and keep the house clean and tidy. Term time Penny can run errands, like go to the pharmacy, the post office and the dentist. She can also work a certain amount of hours and go for walks to sort out writing problems in her head. Term time Penny has a lot of energy.

Holiday Penny is a different story. Holiday Penny knows that just one outing can take every bit of physical, emotional and mental energy she has that day. So the Vital Pace is a different one. All energy is given to the small outing and then, I am officially off the hook as soon as we walk back through that door. I read, I listen to audiobooks, I cook my favourite food, I let the kids have loads of screen time. Even if I have a bit of energy left (if the day went well), I don’t push it because I know tomorrow might be a whole different story.

There is usually some essential paid work that needs doing while I have a paid carer. And I also need paid care for my son if I am going to spend any time with my daughter. Thats a lot to squeeze in to the small amount of care I have access to, so my vital pace during holidays means if I achieve just those two things, that is absolutely fine.

Thinking about my life in those two different modes has helped enormously. I don’t feel bad/wrong/guilty/sad for not achieving more when my kids are not at school. Because I have already decided what the baseline is and most of the time, I can achieve that because I haven’t set the bar too high.

How does this relate to writers (aside from the fact that many writers are also managing chronic illnesses and supporting disabled family members)?

When we are working on long and often intense writing projects, it can be enormously helpful to know and understand what our vital pace is. As much as we would love to think we can have and do it all without any sacrifices, writing takes a lot of energy. You will likely have to sacrifice other energy zapping activities to finish that novel/book proposal/manuscript.

Is it worth it? Well I think so! But rather than try and continue doing ALL the things while we write books, we can acknowledge that it’s likely we’ll have to make some choices about where our energy goes.

For some writers that might mean not attending all their kids sports matches, reducing paid work a little, putting up with a messier house, skipping many social events or eating basic, easy meals. We can each decide what we know our vital pace is, what we know we can achieve when our energy is at its lowest. When we are right in the middle of a big writing project, we might only be able to achieve our vital pace plus our writing. And thats ok.

Today, my son has care, so I’m off to take my daughter to an exhibition we are both dying to see (Cute at Somerset House!). That is the only thing on my list to achieve today (along with this substack, although honestly, this is above my vital pace and I only wrote it because I felt like it).

I would love to hear if you have consciously decided on your vital pace.

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Not Too Busy To Write is available on all your favourite podcast feeds, including Apple, Spotify, CastBox, Pocketcasts, Podbean and more.