So much of this post really resonated with me. I too have an unbalanced life most of the time. I wonder if this is more true for women writers who have families than men? Or if the idea of balance is in fact a myth?
I think if you have someone else doing the unpaid work in your life (a wife and/or a lot of paid help) it’s much easier to control your days. So yes I imagine some men (and rich people) probably do experience more balance.
Thought provoking Penny, thank you. I read somewhere by some wise sage that balance is a state of stagnation - I definitely don’t want that as an option.
Perhaps more like the appearance of a state of stagnation. If you think of someone walking along a tight rope. Even when it looks like balance has been achieved, there is a lot of hidden bodily activity going on to make this possible. Likewise, in homeostasis the body is constantly working to maintain a healthy blood sugar level, blood pressure etc. In walking the tightrope, a healthy underlying balance system is key to best performance, so any ‘system’ we can put in place that will help us cope with the unexpected may, at least, stop us ‘falling off’.
This is so timely as I wanted more balance in my life this year (I work a corporate job that’s feast or famine and parent a disabled child). But, because l can’t control when I’ll be busy and when I’m unlikely to sleep much, my version of balance is to snatch moments when I can…so if I’m less busy at work and am able to home wise I’ll exercise more, knowing I won’t be able to do the same x times a week every week and that’s ok. Same for galleries, seeing friends etc. Maybe I just have my own conception of the meaning of balance (ha!) because I think it sounds like what you are describing, leaning in to what is in front of you and what you can do rather than fight it to match a particular conception.
Sounds very much like what I do. I think the reason the word balance particularly bothers me is that you’d have to take a very loooong view for this kind of life to have the appearance of balance, and so many people beat themselves up over that. And there is just no point in laying more burden on ourselves by thinking it should be different than it is. So glad you’ve found what works for you!
Yes being a parent carer and working is intense. I'm starting to introduce a buffer week every 4-6 weeks where I don't have clients but can plan and catch up and rest. This is an attempt at creating my own rhythm as my business always seems to be busy!
So much of this post really resonated with me. I too have an unbalanced life most of the time. I wonder if this is more true for women writers who have families than men? Or if the idea of balance is in fact a myth?
I think if you have someone else doing the unpaid work in your life (a wife and/or a lot of paid help) it’s much easier to control your days. So yes I imagine some men (and rich people) probably do experience more balance.
Great take, Penny
Thought provoking Penny, thank you. I read somewhere by some wise sage that balance is a state of stagnation - I definitely don’t want that as an option.
Ooooh that really resonates with me! Going to look that up..
Perhaps more like the appearance of a state of stagnation. If you think of someone walking along a tight rope. Even when it looks like balance has been achieved, there is a lot of hidden bodily activity going on to make this possible. Likewise, in homeostasis the body is constantly working to maintain a healthy blood sugar level, blood pressure etc. In walking the tightrope, a healthy underlying balance system is key to best performance, so any ‘system’ we can put in place that will help us cope with the unexpected may, at least, stop us ‘falling off’.
This is so timely as I wanted more balance in my life this year (I work a corporate job that’s feast or famine and parent a disabled child). But, because l can’t control when I’ll be busy and when I’m unlikely to sleep much, my version of balance is to snatch moments when I can…so if I’m less busy at work and am able to home wise I’ll exercise more, knowing I won’t be able to do the same x times a week every week and that’s ok. Same for galleries, seeing friends etc. Maybe I just have my own conception of the meaning of balance (ha!) because I think it sounds like what you are describing, leaning in to what is in front of you and what you can do rather than fight it to match a particular conception.
Sounds very much like what I do. I think the reason the word balance particularly bothers me is that you’d have to take a very loooong view for this kind of life to have the appearance of balance, and so many people beat themselves up over that. And there is just no point in laying more burden on ourselves by thinking it should be different than it is. So glad you’ve found what works for you!
Such a brilliant perspective here on the ebb and flow of life as a freelancer and mother🙌✨️🙏💓
Best not to fight it!
Yeah. Fuck balance.
Yes being a parent carer and working is intense. I'm starting to introduce a buffer week every 4-6 weeks where I don't have clients but can plan and catch up and rest. This is an attempt at creating my own rhythm as my business always seems to be busy!