The secret ingredient to getting things done...

One we don't talk about enough

Like many people, I am fascinated by how other writers get things done. I could read about it endlessly. But I often think a key ingredient is left out. Not deliberately necessarily but perhaps because it is so intrinsic to the process we don’t always see it.

To explain, here’s a little story about nappies (Yes, nappies and I promise this is going somewhere).

When I was pregnant with my eldest (who is now 15) I decided I wanted to give cloth nappies (diapers) a go. I read the stats on how many decades/centuries it took for a nappy to breakdown and I was horrified. Cloth nappies seemed like a good solution since they were now way more user friendly than they had been in past (no nappy pins, no folding squares in a special way, no soaking them overnight etc). People laughed and said I’d never stick to it, that I had no idea what was coming for me as a parent (fair) and I’d stop because disposables were just so much easier. I didn’t know whether I would stick to it or not but I decided I was going to try it anyway.

Reader, I used cloth nappies for the next four years, including a year and a half with two kids in nappies. When my second child was born two years later, she went straight into a cloth nappy (I kept it, it’s adorable).

my babies were adorable(they are now enormous teenagers)

Perhaps you’re now thinking, “geez ok, we get it, you’re so fucking virtuous, saving waste from landfill when most new parents are just out here trying to survive”. And I get why that might be your reaction because we only ever really discuss cloth nappies as a way to save waste from landfill, or save money (over the long term) and we only really talk about disposables in the context of convenience.

But let me tell you, I LOVED using cloth nappies.

They are adorable (evidence above). They function way better (in most but not all situations). The cloth wipes I used with them were 10x more effective at cleaning up poop than those awful thin disposable wipes that just smear it everywhere. And contrary to popular myth, they actual smell better than modern disposable nappies. If I ever changed a nappy of a friend’s baby I would gag at the smell of urine mixed with chemicals. My kids nappies did not smell like that. And I never once had to do an emergency run to the shops because I had run out. They were just always there.

In the warm summer months, the extremely adorable nappies were essentially part of their outfit. And yes I may have had a few outer wraps made up in liberty print fabric. Did I save money? No, not really because it was fun to buy cute nappies. But I did pass them on to other families if they were still in good condition afterwards (which most of them were).

Was it extra work? Sure. It took about 10 mins a day (really the washing machine did all the work - a rinse cycle, followed by a regular cycle, I just had to hang them on our ceiling hoist and take the dry ones down again). It was part of my evening routine.

Ok, I hear you - enough about fucking nappies. What has this got to do with writing???

We talk a lot about ease and convenience in our society. We often focus on what makes something hard. And I get that, it’s important not to gloss over the genuine hard work it takes to write a novel, or non-fiction, or a poetry collection or keep your commitment to writing regularly in a space like Substack.

It is work, and for many of us, it’s not how we make the bulk of our income. We probably have other jobs/businesses as well as unpaid responsibilities.

But when we focus only on whats hard about getting the work done, we are missing out on the key ingredient to actually getting things done.

That we love doing it. That it’s worth it.

I love crafting words on the page. I love being in a flow state (hello, 45 mins have flown by writing this!). I love telling stories. I love talking to other people about stories. I can’t imagine life without stories and I want to be inside them and outside of them. The benefits, to me personally, out weight the difficult stuff.

I don’t write just so I can say I’ve been published (although thats nice and also, please pay me). I write because I want to. I’m not punishing myself by writing, I’m pleasing myself by writing. Just like once upon a time I was pleasing myself by using cloth nappies (which had the added benefit of being better for the environment than the alternative).

A friend of mine, Helen, runs marathons. Helen loves running. It’s a passion. She gets all nerdy about it. I, on the other hand, jog for 20 minutes a couple of times a week. I don’t have the desire to run a marathon. It looks way too hard and time consuming to me. I’ve got other things I’d rather do, even though I quite like my twice weekly jog in the park to keep fit and enjoy some fresh air. I could look at Helen and ask - why has she got the discipline to do that and I don’t? How is Helen managing to finish her 6th major world marathon and I’m still running around my local cemetary and getting a stitch. But I don’t ask those questions because I know the answer - Helen loves running. If I felt about running how Helen did, then I would figure out some way to make it work.

Do I like writing all the time? No! It’s fucking hard. Just like running marathons is hard. And just like any craft, you are constantly forced to face your own limitations and lack of skill. That’s hard. It takes a lot of time and energy to really hone your craft and create something worth reading. But overcoming those failures and challenges is incredibly rewarding.

Sometime people look at me and ask how I’m doing it (I know this because people say this to my face as well as in messages). Maybe they have similar challenges in their life to me - being an unpaid carer, being the only person paying the mortgage, living far away from extended family. Aside from the obvious privileges I do have (good health, a roof over my head, a supportive boyfriend), there is another thing that should always be taken in to account. I love doing it.

I do it selfishly. I do it for myself. I do it because I prefer writing to most other things which would probably be far more virtuous (like cleaning or gardening or weight lifting or meditating - I’m crap at doing all those things). The only activities I genuinely like as much are probably reading and watching films. Do I need to use different tools and tricks to get me through the most challenging phases of a writing project? Yes, I do, because writing a book is not as easy as reading one. But I’m not doing it because I’m disciplined, or virtuous, or hugely motivated or have a five year plan. I’m doing it because I like it.

And that, is the secret ingredient.

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