I'm a selfish reader

and I refuse to change

I’m a selfish reader. 

I can’t stand being told what to read. So much so that, despite my deep love of talking about books, I have never been in a book club. You want me to read that? Now? But I don’t feel like it!!!! (Foot stamping, whiny voice and all).

It really comes down to the main reasons I read.

I read for comfort and consolation when life is overwhelming. I read to understand my own thoughts and feelings. I read to escape mentally when I can’t physically. And most of all I read to follow my curiosity. 

All of these reasons are very internal and can’t be satisfied by being told what I should be reading. In fact, being told what to read makes me want to run in the other direction. My TBR pile always teeters with multiple options because I will only ever decide what I’m reading next at the moment I’m about to begin a new book. What I felt like reading last week, may be completely different to this week. And often, when I have adored one book, it sends me on a journey I hadn’t planned, while I deep dive into a specific genre, theme or author that I suddenly cannot get enough of.

A couple of years ago I did a masters degree in creative writing and that did prove to be a challenge for someone who hates being told what to read. All those reading lists, not all of it to my particular taste or interest. But I loved being part of those classes and discussions, so I just had to grin a bare the books that weren’t to my current tastes, reminding myself that it was worth it. And in between I read what the author Abby Jimenez beautifully described as ‘palette cleansers’ - basically fun things I was actually in the mood for. I was completely baffled when some of my fellow students told me that they had banned themselves from reading anything else until they had got through the entire, extremely extensive list. What torture! I can’t live on a diet of dark and intense short stories and intricate and detailed prose. Sometimes I just need to laugh. And be swept away. Not all reading has to better me as a writer or a human being.

I have always read pretty widely in terms of genre. But I do go through strong phases, where certain genres are deeply satisfying to me. Over the summer I went on Romance binge. I was finishing off my latest non-fiction book and needed something completely different to entertain me when I wasn’t head down working. Before that I had a little sojourn into fiction that plays on the true-crime genre, reading book after book to satisfy that itch. Earlier in the year when I was deep into researching my own book, I was steeped in memoir and non-fiction all exploring the topic of home.

I don’t worry that I am reading too much of any one thing because inevitably a certain phase will end and something else piques my interest. I will pick up a book on a certain theme and before I know it, I am five books deep into a topic or genre I had been clueless about a month before. Whoops - there goes that TBR pile again.

Does that mean I never read on request? Not at all. Having a podcast means that I do have to stick to a reading schedule. Episodes are often planned around publication dates in order to best support the author, which means once it’s booked in, I am committed. I’m lucky enough to be sent lots of advance proofs and I will read what I can, so that I can share them on social media (or here on the newsletter) but I will only ever share books that I find interesting and think you might too.

I love being a selfish reader. I don’t want to read with the sole purpose of hitting a certain number of books (I don’t bother counting) or to be on top of the latest publications (that would be impossible anyway). I find reading recommendations everywhere - newsletters, podcasts, social media, newspapers and magazines and of course, friends and fellow writers. I love reading recommendations! I just like to decide at any one time what I am going to pick up next. And now is not always the right time.

I have no interest in reading because it’s ‘good for me’. I want to continue reading selfishly.